Fox, Roy, Yoshi 3: The Cream Donut War
by Kal Ancalas
Summary: The third, longawaited story in the Fox, Roy, and Yoshi stories. This is DEFINETELY the funniest, considerably longer, and it is a mustread for fans of the series, or for anyone looking for humor.


Fox, Roy, Yoshi: The Cream Donut War

Author's Note: This is the third story in the Fox, Roy, and Yoshi series. About the rating, I would set it somewhere between K+ and T (around 11 or up.) You don't necessarily need to read the other two, but if you don't, you will be a bit confused. Please review!

-

On some random day, the smashers were sitting inside the Smash Mansion eating breakfast. After a certain trio donated $2 billion to the Smash Mansion renovation cause, the mansion was equipped with state of the art technology.

"Computer!" Bowser yelled. "I want another cream donut!"

"You have eaten 384 donuts so far." the table buzzed. "Are you sure you wish to continue?"

"YES!"

"Here are two boxes of chocolate cream donuts." the table buzzed, sending up two huge boxes of the fried pastries.

"Warning: Cholesterol count exceeding disk space." the chair buzzed as Bowser stuffed three huge cream donuts into his face, squirting the sausages, eggs, and Marth with chocolate cream.

"I love technology." Bowser said, while Marth angrily wiped the cream off his face.

"Speaking of which," Falco said, "where are Fox, Roy, and Yoshi?"

-

Meanwhile, in Yoshi's private space station…

"I won again!" Fox yelled, as Roy angrily threw his king on the floor. "I am the undisputed mental master of chess!"

Yoshi, feeling hungry, ate the chessboard and all the pieces.

"Internet?" Fox asked, breaking the short silence that followed.

-

Fox, Roy, and Yoshi took a shuttle down to Earth (as all geeks know, it's impossible to connect to the Internet in outer space without advanced technology, and Yoshi didn't like to spend money excessively) and went to the Smash Mansion.

"What say we get some breakfast first, so Yoshi won't eat the really expensive server like he did the last 5 times?" Roy suggested.

They went into the now-abandoned dining room and ordered a plate of four dozen cream donuts.

"Error. Donuts not available," the table buzzed as one lone cream donut appeared.

"WHAT!"

"Bowser had eaten all the cream donuts."

A ravenous growl erupted from the threesome's stomachs.

"MINE!" they all yelled at the exact same time. They dived on it and splattered cream everywhere. A random self-cleaning device instantly cleaned the mess, but Fox held the limp, empty donut pastry. "NOOOO!" he yelled. "I can't survive on this!" He flung the thing at Yoshi, who swallowed it and regurgitated it at Roy two seconds later. "This is an unorthodox treatment! I can't digest this!" Roy threw the donut shell into the garbage, and had a look on his face that was worth 198,374 words. (Mostly the four letter ones that pianists say when they play wrong notes in a concert.)

"THIS MEANS WAR!"

-

Fox immediately withdrew some money from his personal account #58 (the money wouldn't fit in one account by itself) and bought a giant box labeled "ITEMS FOR CAUSING INJURY AND HOW TO USE THEM".

Roy got some money from his personal account #62 and bought a huge box labeled "MILITARY EQUIPMENT AND HOW TO USE IT".

Yoshi got some money from his personal account #60 and bought a huge box labeled "SMALL NUCLEAR WARHEADS AND HOW NOT TO USE THEM".

-

Day 1 of the war

Fox got his first item out, an exploding banana peel that reacted to rubber (shoes are made of rubber). He set it out on the sidewalk two minutes before he knew Yoshi would take a walk. Unfortunately for Fox's plan, the mailman came two minutes early to deliver the mail.

"Here Mr. McCloud, I have your mail-"

PAFOOM!

The mailman and Fox were blown into opposite directions. The mailman crashed into Shop Rite's special display of large stainless steel scissors and Fox crashed into the spiked, electrified security door that adorned the front of the Smash Mansion.

Meanwhile, Yoshi, targeting Roy, knew about Roy's favorite snack- red hot pepper chips- and decided to put some of Dr. Mario's secret freezing chemical on the bowl. Anything covered by this solution would be frozen, but would look perfectly normal.

Unfortunately, Bowser decided his splurge on over 400 innocent donuts wasn't enough to satisfy his hunger and that he needed spicy stuff. Moments after Yoshi crawled away, Bowser dumped the whole bowl of the frozen snack into his wide mouth.

No one quite understood that day why Bowser's fire breath had turned into an ice breath.

-

Day 2 of the war

Roy decided his victim had to be Fox, so he took some "Vile Slime" made by Dr. Mario and put it into Fox's bed, figuring that when Fox crawled into the bed, he would get a rather nasty shock. Unfortunately for this plan, Falco had just come back from a training session and had gotten hit by Bowser's ice breath, so all he wanted to do was crawl into a nice, cozy, warm bed. Ignoring the fact that he was aiming at Fox's bed, he leaped under the covers.

Two seconds later, a loud scream erupted from Fox and Falco's room. Meanwhile, Young Link, Pichu, and Ness were asking everyone the meaning of the four letter word that Falco just announced.

Fox decided he had to try again. He took out a handful of poison beans and put them into Yoshi's lunch salad. What Fox failed to take into consideration was that Yoshis have very strong stomach acid and therefore can avoid the effects of any poison. However, every time Yoshi...er, relieved stress, everyone caught in the vicinity would stagger and whirl a few times before dropping unconscious on the floor.

-

Day 3 of the war

Yoshi decided on a plan to attack Fox. Knowing the vulpine would certainly need to cool himself off in the pool on this hot day, Yoshi dumped a jumbo bag full of itching powder into the swimming pool. The plan backfired when the automatic water filter immediately detected the foreign substance and vaporized it.

Later that day, news reports said that a large number of skydiving and gliding enthusiasts had been injured in crashes. Police reports determined that a large concentration of itching powder had been detected in the atmosphere and that the victims had not paid attention to where they were going because they were too busy itching.

Roy decided to strike. He switched the labels of "Yoshi 007" and "Barney and Friends Season 3" (no offense if you like this show) and set them out where Yoshi could see them. Unfortunately, Ganondorf was an avid Barney lover and decided at that moment to watch his favorite show.

Two minutes later...

Link turned a corner. What he saw was his archenemy crying and flailing on the floor, saying, "Mommy, WAAHHH! THIS IS TOO VIOLENT! I WANT MY TEDDY BEAR!"

Link stared for 1 full minute at the Gerudo on the floor, then, holding his sides and gasping, he barely made it to the girls' bathroom and vomited.

Fox, Roy, and Yoshi were then elaborating on their next evil plan when they (for some reason) bumped into each other at a corridor intersection.

"Ow! Why you-" Fox said, whipping out his blaster, but then an evil smile appeared on his face. "I declare a peace treaty!"

"Why?"

"Because," Fox said, with a smile, "I know where we can get more donuts."

Two minutes later...

"Well, Fox," Roy said, chewing on a donut, "these are the best donuts ever!"

"Well, you know what they say." Fox said. "The grass is greener on the other side."

Meanwhile, Falco was sitting in his own bed after recovering from the shock of getting coated with slime. He reached into his bedside cabinet, and felt...

"HEY! Where's that stash of cream donuts I saved from breakfast!" Falco yelled, his hand dripping with slime.

THE END

Final Note: Like the running joke? Yes, I know that Fox, Roy, and Yoshi own Dunkin' Donuts, but I like it better this way. It makes for a nice plot.


End file.
